Death Spa (1989) Prom Night (1980) Hello Mary Lou: Prom Night II (1987)

You know, I've decided my half-brains look too much like full-brains: one-and-a-halfs look like twos, two-and-a-halfs look like threes, and so on.

I'll have to do something about that. Sometime.

Anyway we've got mini multi movies here, and the name of the game today is five--as in five things to say about each film ('cause why not?). These movies all belong to a category my sister and I affectionately/disdainfully named "boob-slashers" when we were kids.

We didn't come up with that name because women were (necessarily) being depicted having their breasts lacerated by a sharp instrument; more because the film-type always seemed to include a fair number of topless women, screaming and running away from knife (and other assorted instrument)-wielding maniacs of one type or another. So, y'know, the movies contained both boobs and slashers.

Yeah. It was an interesting childhood. On to the movies.

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You'll sweat blood!

1. An American movie, filmed in '87, straight-to-VHS (in Japan!) in '89, and finally to eager (?) American VCR owners in 1990.
2. Weirdly, that cover is a not unreasonable representation of what you get after you press Play. And that's not (altogether) a good thing.
3. The movie features a possessed cross-dressing man, whose body transforms back and forth from his own to his dead sister's.
4. There are "Death Spa Dancers" in the film. I know this because they're named that very thing in the credits.
5. So not a good movie, but... weirdly watchable.

ONE-AND-A-HALF ANGRY SPA GHOST BRAINS

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 This year Prom Night will be a scream.

1. Nothing supernatural here--I had this movie confused with its sequel. (Hadn't actually seen either one before last weekend.)
2. This is kind of a good movie (he says sheepishly)--reasonably decent mystery, plenty of interesting suspects, and fairly suspense-y.
3. Contains and awesome disco dance off. (Also features Leslie Nielsen disco dancing--slightly less awesome.)
4. I kind of want Seymour Crane's van.
5. Online-ness tells me there were a lot of scenes cut from the film. I think if they were put back in, its story would make more sense (but it's totally okay as-is).

THREE-AND-A-HALF CLASSY-TRASH BRAINS

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 Vengeance never rests in peace!

1. Originally, this was not even a sequel to Prom Night. It was called The Haunting of Hamilton High and totally unrelated until some suit had the bright idea to cash in on Prom Night's name/success. Re-shoots ensued. I bet it would've been better if they'd kept it as-was.
2. The movie features possession by immersion in liquefied chalkboard. That's pretty fresh thinking.
3. Also, its main character gets shot to death and then a full-size zombie claws its way out of her body. But don't worry, she pops out of a box at movie's end, and she's just fine! And, by the way, that zombie is a regenerating one and it's awesome.
4. Vickie Carpenter's mother is by far the scariest character in the movie, but that creepy rocking horse is a close second.
5. Michael Ironside is not John Saxon.

TWO-AND-A-HALF HELL-BOUND-HARLOT BRAINS

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You remember Lady Battle Cop's Universal Movie Law? If that were in effect here (and it is), we'd be looking at:

1. Enjoyably Bad
2. Enjoyably Good
3. Enjoyably Bad

'Nuff said? (I believe it is.)