KING KOLORFORMS (1977)

King what? (Oh, settle on in my friend, we'll get there....)

Here's how it started:

One day, there I was, sitting around thinking about King Kong. Which is actually something that happens to me on a (surprisingly) regular basis.

Well. I think it happens to me more than it does to a lot of people, but I don't really know, not actually being those other people and only having me to compare myself with. But in theory, I think it does. Happen more, I mean.

To my point, this very last night, I dreamed I was at a work meeting, with a bunch of us sitting around a conference table trying to decide something or other, and all of a sudden the room blipped out--with that bit from King Kong '33 just after he's killed the Tyrannosaurus rex and is playing around with its jaw--blipping in to replace it.

What I mean is the dream conference room and everybody in it just disappeared for a second or two, I was hanging out in a dream jungle watching Kong do his thing (Hi, Ann!), and then lickety split I was back in the thick of conference room politics.

I have no idea what Kong killing a dinosaur has to do with my workplace. The headshrinkers would probably have a field day figuring it out. The point here is that when I tell you Kong randomly pops into my head (asleep or awake) on a fairly regular basis, this is a true-to-life fact.

Is this what I subconsciously want to do to people in work meetings?

So what was I saying? Oh yeah. I was sitting around thinking about Kong.

At the time, the new Kong: Skull Island movie was just out, and thinking about it had me wondering what Kong-related stuff I might or might not want to talk about here at the Brain.

I wasn't thinking of reviewing that particular movie, since I try to stay away from things already getting a ton of web-tention, and Skull Island certainly qualified on that score.

Of course I've seen the movie, and enjoyed it--even if I'm not sure I "liked" it--but truth be told any ambivalence I felt was more about the whole "let's make Kong a franchise" thing than it was any problem I had with the movie itself.

But this post isn't even about that movie, so... moving right along.

Let's see.... Oh yeah, wondering about Kong posts. So I knew I wasn't going to do anything with Skull Island. And of course the original film has been written-on-to-death as well, so not much to work with there. A few ideas did raise their heads over the course of my mental wanderings.

Maybe, I thought...

• I'd finally take a stab at King Kong '76, a much maligned movie I personally love for various and sundry reasons. (Still might do that.)
• I'd also enjoy doing a blow-by-blow show and tell of Famous Monsters #108. (Now that would be fun.)
• And of course doing a visual comparison of all the movie-Kongs (possibly with some illustrated renditions thrown in) would make the world a better place.

And maybe I'll flesh out and post those ideas at some point, or maybe not: the deadmansmuse has often been known to veto what I consider exceedingly fine post-ideas. And it's pretty tough to crank out a post if the muse is against it. Like swimming uphill or... something.

Anyway, time we put all this "what the post is not going to be about" stuff to rest and get on to what this post is going to be about, and that, my friends, is me sharing with you...

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THE.      COOLEST.      BIRTHDAY.      PRESENT.      EVER.

(You saw the post title up top, and now you know exactly what I'm talking about.)

You see, right in the middle of all this Kong-Wondering (Kwongering?), my birthday happened. And the woman I love and share my life with walked into the room, plunked a largish-sized postal package in front of me, and said "Have a go at this, Love. Sorry it's not wrapped."

Of course I did have a go, and the following is what (rapidly) emerged from said package:

King Kolorforms, indeed....

"Oh," I said quietly.

Then I was silent. For too long, apparently. When I finally glanced up my wife had this vaguely anxious look about her, and I realized she was probably attributing my silence to something other than Nostalgic Awe.

"This is... I had this as a kid," I managed to squeak. "I loved this thing!"

And indeed I did (have it and love it).

Even as a ten year old, I was OCD-ish enough to be able to keep all the little plastic bits (that most Colorforms Kids lose in their first two weeks of ownership) around and available for my playing pleasure. Alas, participating friends and neighbors were less careful, so pieces ended up being lost over time, and at some point I suppose the whole set likely disintegrated from joyful overuse. I don't remember the day it officially went away, but I remember the seemingly countless hours re-creating film scenes from 1976's King Kong, and coming up with plenty of my own alternate histories to boot.

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Okay, time for a quick Colorforms history lesson.

From Wikipedia: Colorforms is a creative toy named for the simple shapes and forms cut from colored vinyl sheeting that cling to a smooth backing surface without adhesives. These pieces are used to create picture graphics and designs, which can then be changed countless times by re-positioning the removable color forms.... Sets initially featured basic geometric shapes and bright primary colors on black or white backgrounds. Eventually, however, the Colorforms line evolved to include full-color illustrated play sets, games and puzzles, interactive books and creative activity sets for children of all ages. The licensing of media properties related to contemporary pop culture became integral to the product and company's success.

Mel Birnkrant, Colorforms' Creative Director for more than 20 years, has a website that includes personal reminiscences of the various projects he was part of, including this "Super Colossal, Kong Sized Colorforms Set" we're looking at here, from 1977's catalog.

Mere glimpses of Gargantuan Goodness could be seen
from the catalog images...

...and this must've been a prototype cover - noticeably
different than what shipped.

Oh. Incidentally, I found an additional Kong-related Colorforms product there, tucked away in the 1976 catalog. 3D Kong... Cool.

Clearly Superman sold better than Kong...

...as noted by catalog size discrepancies.

At any rate, Birnkrant's whole site's well worth a look.

Okay. History lesson over.

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So needless to say my wife knocked it out of the park with her birthday giftness this time around. (She always does quite well, way better than she gives herself credit for, but this one--truly exceptional.)

Alright. Let's take a closer look at this baby. You pop off that lid and here's what you see.

What we see immediately after opening our Kongtainer.

We look to be in good shape as far as actual color forms variety goes. We've got Kong himself to rampage about the set with--couple of different heads, so he can angrily look both left and right; couple of different sets of arms, so he can hold things and not hold things--all very cool.

We've also got a nice setup for the film's big (?) Kong/snake fight going on here. (You know, this film has been, unjustly, in my opinion, derided over the years, but one criticism I have to admit bears up is the movie's lack of other giant/prehistoric beasts being seen on the island. Just can't argue that one....)

Let's see, what else? We got plenty of tiny people for Kong to stomp on interact with--four Dwans, two Jacks (running and vine-hanging), a Shifty Fred, various island natives (including Ape Mask Guy), sundry ship's crew and some National Guard soldiers.

Round it all out with three helicopters--two flying and one crumpled, a couple of fire/explosion-y shapes, some backpacks--always good for island exploration--and even a set of Pteranodons. (Those last guys weren't even in the movie as I recall--not even seen flying in the background. If memory serves, we really did get nothing at all but that aforementioned giant boa constrictor. Hmm. Wonder how long that boa was...?)

At any rate. Clearly there's plenty o' color form figures to go around, here. 

Oh, and let's unfold that instruction booklet for a closer look. (Per usual you can click any image to see it--dare I say--Kong-sized.)

ehn-struk-shuns

Buh. Enough instructions, let's get a look at that play set surface. Or should I say... surfaces?

We start out with a decent rendition of... well I guess it's a conglomeration of that beach everyone first arrives at and the wall/gate as seen from inside the native village. We'll call it...

The Gate!

I don't recall that wall being quite so close to the beach, but whatever. Still cool, right?

And this is cool. We can put little guys pouring oil on the big slidey bolt, natives running up and down the ramps and ladders. We could even do our best to recreate Kong busting through that gate--now that would be cool.

PDN (Pretty Darn Neat) so far, yet we are not even close to being done exploring this play set, no not close at all. Open up those gates on the initial surface and we get...  

The Island Interior!

Skulls and altars and logs, oh my!

Now this is an amazing (especially to a ten year old kid) spread. So much to do, here! We got the skull cave and cliff for Jack and Dwan to dive from; we got the altar where we can recreate Kong's first big reveal; we got the log--picking up, shaking and screaming/falling surely to ensue--well, it would if the actual log was a color form instead of just painted on, but still.

Don't know what that little inflatable boat is doing there on the left, but it adds play value so I'm cool with it. Oh, and a nice detail: We got the twin rock towers and full moon there in the background. Pretty sure there was no actual mountain-shaped-like-a-skull in this movie, though. They totally lifted that from 1933's film, didn't they....

Okay, two play surfaces in and we're not done yet: fold that interior closed so we see the gates again, then flip the whole thing over on its back and... oh my god it's...

The Twin Towers!

Hmm. I see that the shadow cast by Kong's back leg (seen on both versions of the box art) is missing here. That's a good thing. Kong was big, but he jumped across that 200 foot divide--no way he could've straddled it.

Violent and tragic death-place of Kong himself! But we will give those copters the fight of their lives before we go down for the count! (Won't we! Those bastards!)

Well, this is icing on the cake, here. Right? Not only do we get the gate to crash through, no only do we get island shenanigans, we get the big fight scene--the tower finale--as well. Whew! What a play set!

And mind you, I had other Colorforms play sets back in the day--they were little single scene deals half this Kong set's size. This thing was truly a kid marvel. (And, clearly, I'm still partial to it.)

And... that's it: Best Birthday Present Ever. The End. Almost. No. Too abrupt.

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Let's see, what can we do to finish up the post and give this set a proper send off...?

I know! We'll recreate John Berkey's (amazing) promotional art with our King Kolorforms set! (This is a great idea!) For those not in the know, John Berkey is this guy:

Okay. Here goes. Obviously, the Berkey art is first, followed by the... wait. No, I guess the Colorforms is actually the...

HOLY COW I CAN'T ACTUALLY TELL WHICH IS WHICH THAT'S HOW GOOD THESE COLORFORMS ARE AT FILMIC RE-CREATION

No that's not true. I can tell. But can YOU?

If only that snake fight were half this cool in the movie...

...or even half this cool.

Were those natives really thinking that wall would keep that giant ape out if it ever wanted to come in? Oh. Thanks to The Kong Files - the only place I could find purportedly original artwork for this particular piece.

Kong is either climbing over that gate or standing on a big rock he put there just prior.... Okay, the ape looks dumb here, but I'm super proud of my putting the little explosion-y shape on the bolt to signify it cracking.

And speaking of cool original artwork - this is the full piece as done by Berkey. They cropped it for the film's poster.

Hey. This actually isn't a bad re-creation. Huh.

And now... our work here is done.

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Actually, not quite. There were a few additional Berkey Kong pieces I found that, sadly, didn't lend themselves to Colorforms Cloning. So here those are, for completeness-sake.

Hmm. Kong did wade across a river in the movie. He was being stealthy, though, and definitely not doing any boat smashing.

Okay. That's... REALLY cool. I can see why they went for the other image as the main poster, but this one's pretty amazing.

And again, the promo art outshines the film (that's usually the case, isn't it?). Although the train scene in-film was good.

Alright. Now we really ARE done.

Till next time.

Bookstore Saturday: The Quickening

Yes, we do indeed have a sequel-title-reference thing going on with these bookstore posts. (It just happened. Accept it. So much easier than resisting, which is - as we know - futile.)

Today's title reference is nothing to do with any of the books below -- it just popped in-head as I was casting about (fly fishing of the mind) for a suitably catchy, sequel-y title....

What's a Bookstore Saturday (BSS), you ask?

1. It takes place on a Saturday (somewhat negotiable)
2. In a used bookstore (smattering of new allowed)
3. Involves 2 or more hours of in-store browsing (is it even possible to do less?)
4. Store must honor Used Bookstore Gods in look, feel and browsing experience

If you're (a) bored or (b) interested, you're welcome to check out All Things Bookstore Saturday, right here. Otherwise, on to today's bookstore loot:

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Whaaat? This book was GOOD.

Okay, usually Bookstore Saturdays consist of me writing about books I've just purchased and not had time to read, but take a look at the dates for this post and the one before it--been like six months or some damn thing.

Truly, Other Life Endeavors (you know, the ones generally responsible for getting in the way of being able to just do what you want all the time) have been at my forefront for a while now. Still are at the forefront, truth be told, but I'm feeling rebellious this morning, and busting out with some for-myself-writing-time regardless. So there.

Which is a long-winded (my usual) way of saying this Bookstore Saturday actually happened a while back and I've totally already read this particular book.

AND IT WAS REALLY GOOD.

Which is to say, I didn't think it would be.

Not that I knew anything about the author's previous work--no inside information to put me off before I'd given it a try--I'm just old school (stubborn) when it comes to King Kong. I love the story of it all--the Story of Kong, I mean.

For me, Kong is as much his myth as he is an overgrown ape: Ann Darrow, Jack Driscoll, the Venture and that harrowing Empire State death. And, y'know, Kong dies at the end of his story. And I'm unapologetically recalcitrant when it comes to separating this particular character from his myth, for almost any reason at all.

That being said, I (of course) saw the movie, and enjoyed it--great effects, decent story, fun to watch--but that ape wasn't really Kong, not to me. It was a completely different character, using a well-loved name, to decent effect. So. Now we know how I feel about that.

Thing is, having seen the movie (and enjoyed it well enough for what it was), I was completely unprepared to have this novelization surpass the film the way it did for me. And we're not talking by a little bit--this novel was amazingly well-written, and raced past it's source material by ridiculous, heaving, lumpy amounts (not sure what that phrase means, exactly, but I'm sure it's good).

So much more characterization going on--for Kong, the other beasts, and the story's human characters--than the film could ever have hoped to provide--this book seriously hummed along its path and was an absolute joy to read.

So. Even if I'm not a fan of separating Kong from his myth, I'm a fan of this particular novel.

Nuff said.

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Yep. Read this one too.

I'll tell you right up front (digression alert!), I enjoyed Ang Lee's 2003 Hulk movie (which this book is the novelization of) a lot more than most folks seemed to have done.

For all my talk up there on keeping Kong tied to his myth, that stubbornness is really an exception to a rule--I'm generally pretty open to watching and reading new interpretations of well known/well loved material. (hulk film to kong: digression within a digression...)

And (back to original digression) such was the case with Lee's film--he and writer James Schamus did a courageous thing, I thought, interpreting characters the way they did, and people seemed to judge the movie (harshly) more because it was different and unexpected, than due to it's own merits or lack thereof. But we're not talking about Hulk films, Lee's Hulk (2003) or Leterrier's The Incredible Hulk (2008) here--not really. Suffice it to say I enjoyed both films quite a bit, but enjoyed the 2008 movie a little more.

I had assumed it'd be the same with the film novelizations (both written by experienced Hulk-scribe Peter David, and hey, we made it back around to the pre-digression subject of this bit!), but things flip-flopped (as things sometimes do) and I ended up enjoying this first film's novelization over the second film's one, by a fair amount.

With this particular novelization, I thought David took interesting, unusual premises, and did interesting, unusual things with them--I mean he expanded on Lee's source material in intriguing ways. And his novelization of the second film was more "straight up adaptation of straight up Hulk story." Enjoyable, but not as intriguing. To me.

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aaah-ooooooooooooooh[coughcough]whine... whimper

Yep, I already read this one, too. (This Bookstore Saturday really was a long time ago... TOO long, Dan, TOO long.)

I was super excited at the thought of new-Universal-Monsters-ness-to-be-had as I picked this book up. Sadly, doing so resulted in a Catastrophic Double Whammy of Regret (CDWoR).

Not only did the book suck when I recently read it, turns out I'd totally read it several years ago and forgotten. Well, the re-read brought it all back to memory. I actually remember being pissed I'd spent money and time on it, back in the day.

(Nothing against the author: he's written other stuff I've read and enjoyed more....)

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Como Mexico No Hay Dos

Now this one I have NOT read yet. (It's not really a "read straight through" kind of book anyway, but regardless I've just lightly browsed. So far.)

The book is a (fully bilingual, as it turns out) collection of Mexican movie posters, starting at 1957 and going up through 1990. (So, sixties, seventies and eighties, basically.)

Amazing artwork abounds, and I always love love love catching a glimpse of another culture's collective consciousness through its art. Seriously, some cool stuff in this book.

With chapter titles like "Lawless Youth," The World of the Dead" and "Pum!," how can you go possibly wrong?

(Answer: You can't.)

Author runs a sadly-not-open-to-the-public archive of Mexican film-related stuff. Maybe some day it will be. Open to the public, I mean....

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Step right up! Test yer Vintage Horror Chops right here!
Six movies on the cover - name 'em all and win yer very own Good Guys doll...

Same with this bound-page fellow--I haven't journeyed with him cover-to-cover, yet. But just look at 'im!

mmmm... horror...

Now, the book was published in 2010, so obviously it only covers films up through that point, and is a countdown of (the author's) top 100 horror films of all time. And it's chock-full of gruesome goodness.

Really. Sooo many great films in this thing. (And, by the way, that cover is a collage of the book's top six movies--you miiiight be able to guess said author's very favorite just by looking at it....)

All in all this book is yummy. Like seedless grapes. And chocolate peanut butter ice cream. Not together; that'd be gross.

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Croc (2007) & Crocodile (2000)

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&

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never happens in movie

also never happens in movie

Well, it's January and time for everyone's favorite New Year tradition: The Killer Crocodile Double Feature. (Okay, that's not really a tradition, even here in the deadmans household.)

What actually happened was more where mrs. deadmans falls asleep on the couch while I watch something she'd rather not experience in a fully conscious state, which I totally understand. (There are times I wish I was the one sleeping on the couch next to me.)

Okay, that was weird. I went all unbidden-existential on myself for a second and saw movie-watching-me on my couch, taking in a crappy movie, with sleeping-me curled up right there next to myself. Snoring a little. Huh. At least sleeping-me wasn't laying his head on movie-watching-me's lap. That would've been too weird.

Anyway, existentials aside, neither of the movies I real-life-watched were overly painful (the missus totally could've stayed awake!), and the second one was even a fair bit of fun. Also, the two films didn't start out as a crocodilian couple: they just happened to be next to each other on my watchlist, and one night I decided to give the first one a shot. Well, it turned out to be so unsatisfying (un-sauri-fying, you might say), I had no choice but to give myself a redo with the second movie the next night. At which point my crocodilian-film-faith was restored. (Whew. Close call.)

At any rate that's the setup, and here's a mini multi movies write-up on both films....

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It's Hunting Season and You're the Prey

So the first movie was a 2007 made-for-TV deal called Croc. The first bit of opening credits actually had me wondering if I'd be watching a full-on-Thai-subtitled-in-English film, which would've rocked: I've got a big and mushy spot in my heart for all things Thai. Wasn't to be, though. The movie's actually an English-language American production that was produced and filmed in Thailand.

As a matter of fact, I later found out this movie is part of that Maneater Series SyFy did back in the day. (Anyone besides me remember that series?) I caught at least a half dozen Maneater films, there in the mid-to-late aughts. Well: Strip my gears and call me shiftless, turns out the series never died and is now up to 27 movies, the last one just a few years old. (Where the heck have I been?)

Anyway, this particular movie's about a twenty foot saltwater crocodile terrorizing a (Thailand) tourist beach town. Here's the blurb from Amazon Video:

When a mysterious beast begins dismembering locals at a Thailand beach resort, Croc Hawkins sets out to capture the monster - and the $5,000 reward. But as the body count rises, Croc suspects he is dealing with a more powerful force than he ever imagined.

Would your boat do this if it was headbutted by a giant crocodile?
I'm not sure it would....

Yeah.... That's not accurate and actually sounds better than what I watched. This movie was a bit of a plodder --- even the creature scenes couldn't quite lift it out of the humdrums for me. Heck, not even having the Honorable Michael Madsen onboard was enough to get to minimum fun factor, and Madsen always brightens up the projects he's part of. Couldn't quite do it here though, bless 'im.

So why exactly did it suck?

Hmm... the effects were pretty bad. This was one of those ultra-cheap practical effect/ultra-cheap CGI mixes. Which is better than going all ultra-cheap CGI. (Generally speaking, cheap practical ends up looking way better than cheap CGI.) But you know, the second film I watched also mixed cheap practical and CGI, and it was way more enjoyable, so that can't be all that's holding this one back....

(thinkingthinking)

Okay, I think it came down to this: this movie didn't quite know what it wanted to be --- it couldn't commit. I mean it was definitely marketed as creature feature, but the film was really a mishmash of drama, romance, action thriller and family film, with an unconvincing bit of creature horror thrown in. Yeah, the more I think about it that's exactly what happened --- too many things going on in it to be able to do any one (or two) of them well.

Too bad. I will say I got the sense most everyone in front and behind the camera was putting out best effort, which means the movie at least comes away having a bit of heart once all's said and done. But even with the heart, I could only find it in my heart to give this film:

ONE AND A HALF LARGEST-LIVING-PLASTIC-AND-CGI-REPTILE BRAINS

And that, is all I have to say about it.

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Ever feel like something is watching you...?

Now then, the second film (Tobe Hooper's 2000 straight-to-video Crocodile) was pretty much everything that first movie wasn't. This one knew exactly what it was going for --- teen-stereotype-creature-horror --- implemented with tongue firmly in cheek. I mean its characters were so achingly one dimensional it was ludicrous, but since everyone involved seemed to know that and be going about it on purpose, it comes off as self-aware and the stereotypes are fun rather than demeaning.

Here's the Prime blurb for it:

A group of friends goes out on a boat trip on a lake in Southern California - but their joyful weekend turns into horror when a giant killer crocodile, searching for its stolen eggs, picks off anyone who gets in its way. Can they all escape in one piece or will they slowly and painfully fall to the mammoth reptile?

"Can they all escape..."? Do we even need to ask that question? (No. We do not.)

So yeah, this thing was actually a lot of fun. It starred no one who went on to do much else, according to IMDB, but everybody did what they needed to here in guilty-pleasure-inducing ways. And it pulls off the horror/comedy bit just about perfectly. I'll bet I could name all the horror comedies I actually enjoy watching on one hand, and believe it or not this movie just became one of 'em.

I am SO dead! Except for my right hand, which is alive and tightly gripping
this plastic crocodile mouth so I don't slip out onto the floor....

Wait, one hand...?

Let's see: An American Werewolf in London, Shaun of the Dead, Young Frankenstein, Dale and Tucker vs. Evil, Invasion of the Saucer-Men, The Rocky Horror Picture Show, Lake Placid, Eight Legged Freaks.... Huh. Okay, maybe two hands. Possibly three.

Damn it, now I've negated the whole "on one hand" thing I had going back there, and I might not even hate horror comedy the way I've always thought I did. (Sigh.)

I don't know. Maybe I just hate horror comedy that isn't well done. Yeah, that could be it. It is a genre that's tough to get right, don't you think? Anyway. I digress.

Getting back to Crocodile, I'm thinking to myself that even though I compared the two, the creature effects in this one didn't suck nearly as much as that first film's did. Here they (wisely) kept to the practical side of things, leaving CGI to the few bits they couldn't think of another way to manage, which helped a ton on watchability. That first one had more crappy CGI than practical going on.

Okay, that's it I think. I'm done talking about this one as well.

Oh. The count?

THREE AND A HALF SELF-AWARE TONGUE IN TOOTH BRAINS

(Gronk!)

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Till next time.